Monday, June 28, 2010

Gabbar Singh's Confession -- Exclusive

Team


This post has been published by me as a team member of The Wordsworth Legions for the SUPER 4 round of Bloggers Premier League (BPL) – The first ever unique, elite team blogging event of blog world. To catch the BPL action and also be part of future editions and other contests, visit and register at Cafe GingerChai 






My heart was beating wildly as I sit astride the black stallion on my way to the the gorge where the most notorious daku has been hiding since the past few decades.

I  am on a death defying mission to interview the bandit 'Gabbar Singh'  in chambal ki ghati.

As I reach my destination, I can see bandits on horseback lined up on both sides to put a bullet through my heart if I make a mistake.

As, I get down from the horse on shaky legs, I am patted down and my bag is searched to see if I have a gun. They push me roughly and I fall down, suddenly I hear the the distinct sound of a belt being dragged across the boulders and a shadow moving across.

I look up to see 'Gabbar Singh' looking straight into my eyes.and I suddenly realized that my palms are sweaty. He spit out a wad of tobbaco which fell near my feet and said in a Raspy voice 'Kitne Admi the ??'

“Sorry Gabbar I’m the only one…….” Me.

“Tu ……tu mujhe naam se bulayega ……teri itni himmat………aage Shri aur piche Ji laga” (How dare you call me by my name……..add Shri in front and Ji at the end of my name) Gabber

“ooh…. Sorry Shri Gabbar Singh Ji ……it’s won’t happen again” me.

“So, they have sent you to interview me………aaaa thuuuu…….dekho…..dekho….Verity ne idiots ke fauj banai hai…….. lolzzzzz” Gabbar

“LOL” – chorus

“Shri Gabbar Singh Ji…….please don’t insult us………we topped the 5th round of BPL…..and won in two categories too……we are good” me….

“Shri Gabbar Singh Ji……….can we proceed with the interview???? I need to reach home by 10 ……my mom doesn’t allow me to stay out for long”  me ….

With Shri Gabbar Singh Ji permission…..interview started……….

“My first question……how do you react to the rumors, around these days, of you being gay????” me

Shri Gabbar Singh Ji thinks “oooyeee……terrii penn di……yeh baat bahar kaise aa gai….”(how did these people came to about this??)

He asked……” kyaa kaha tune………??? Kaun bola ki main Gay hu??? Huhhhh????? Kaun Bola ?????”
“Well, Jai’s son…….Abhishek bachan is spreading these rumors …..he has gone on record and said that Gabber is Gay……..”  I told him while shivering …..

“Woh ……woh kaun hai yeh bolne wala…….main gay nahi hu…….Sambha aur main sirf acche dost hai”(who’s  he to say that……? I’m not gay and me and sambha ka only good friends…..) GS

“But living with so many men……in these lonely mountains ……and no women in the gang……….well …that doesn’t support you much” me

Suddenly, Sambha climbs down from the highest point in Ramgarh (My god…I have never heard about it……I thought he was born and brought at that place…and couldn’t leave that place……it was like his….Oxygen Bubble) and whispered in Shri Gabbar Singh Ji’s ears…………..“Sardar……..this is the right time to come out of the closet………with many famous people doing it….it’s like a trend these days……then there’s no harm…..you are admitting the truth and you’ll get instant access to popularity….that too international…….like Neil Patrick Harris, Ricky Martin……think about that sardar…..you’ll become an international face…………..and your dream to be on the cover of Verity Magazine will also come true………” .
Neil Patrick Harris Comes Out Of The Closet


I was waiting for an response and suddenly Shri Gabbar Singh Ji started crying like a little girl……….he asked other dacoits to leave the place …….and then ….then he confessed…….



“Yea…..the rumors right…….Jai’s son is right………..and his father must have told him………. Yes, the first time i saw Veeru…..i fell for him……fell in his love…..that’s why I sent my men to kidnap him…………but then i told him…….but he refused saying ……he loves…..Basanti…….my whole world shattered…….you know how much it hurts if you don’t get you first love (crying out loud)……….and then I decided…..to fight for my love……and kidnapped Basanti too……and asked her to …..dance on broken glass bed…it was a perfect plan….. but Jai ruined it all   and  ……(sobbing) you the know the rest of the story ahead”
“Yea….that’s sad…….but how did sambha came to the picture…..????” me..curiously

“Sambha…..like a best friend….came to help me….to get over Veeru……he used to bring me chocolates and THE break up ice cream and also used to sit with me….while we talked…..for hours and hours…………and then I realized…..that….Rahul…was right…. “love is friendship……if one can’t be my friend….then one can’t be my love….”   ” (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Break-up%20Ice%20cream)


By watching the emotional side of Shri Gabbar Singh Ji’s……… i felt that under that….unshaved, non – bathed body, cruel and ruthless exterior……… there is a true man…….a man who falls in love (so what if with a guy), man who cares for someone…..and a man….who fights for his love.

“Shri Gabbar Singh Ji ……..at the end of this interview…..i just want to give you one suggestion…..that stop living this fake….life…..come out….come in open….and admit who you are……and you’ll what freedom actually means…….”

With Shri Gabbar Singh Ji permission, we are printing this interview in our Magazine and hence becomes the first exclusive………to come up with Shri Gabbar Singh Ji’s confession.


Note :- Abhishek Bachan said that Gabbar was gay in the movie Dostana......which is the main plot of this post.

To read posts by other members of the Wordsworth Legion in the Super 6 Round, see here: Shilpa, Smitha, Lazy Pineapple, Tavish, Kshitij, Rahul and Pujitha.

Exclusively at Verity

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